Potty Training

I wish the potty training fairy would kidnap Keegan and bring him back fully potty trained. He is the most stubborn kid I know and is so resistant to potty training. Truthfully he just doesn't care if he's wet or poopie. I encourage him to use the potty whenever I change his diaper and he just screams NO and acts like the toilet will kill him if he gets near it. Even his potty seat is horrible to sit on. Ive tried putting him in undies, and he didn't care. Thing is, Keegan is pretty smart and he could get this potty thing down in a heart beat if he WANTED to, but he doesn't. Instead he enjoys tormenting his brother while he is on the potty, unrolling all the toilet paper and flushing the toilet continuously. He has an interest in the potty and others going potty...just.not.him!

Please, potty training fairy, where ever you are, please kidnap my stubborn boy, potty train him and bring him back to me. Thanks

Boot Camp

So, Oliver is almost 1 and I'm still just as fat as ever and so not impressed with myself. But I know, lack of sleep, stress...blah blah makes it harder to lose weight. Now that Oliver is off milk, and on the pump, he is sleeping better and the level of stress from the constant crying has gone down tremendously since he isn't crying 24/7. Starting today I am back with The Biggest Loser, doing the 6 week Cardio Max, Power Sculpt for "maximum weight loss results". I'm calling it my own Weight Loss Boot Camp. I've done it before and I lost a lot of weight, but I was also breastfeeding and on a dairy free diet because of Keegy's issues with milk. I just hope that with being able to sleep at night, and with the level of stress in my life going down, I will be able to stick with this boot camp and lose the weight and not give up because I'm not seeing results. I am seriously over being fat. None of my clothes fit and I am disgusted with myself. I thought for sure that by this time I would be back in all my old clothes. I am determined though that by this fall/winter I will be back in my old clothes...and then I can buy new, cuter clothes!

Grumpy Pants

Today Ive got on my grumpy pants. I'm trying really hard not to be a total bitch today, but my goodness its really hard. I'm sure its because I'm tired, the kids are tired so they are crabby, the baby is teething so he is being a fuss bucket. I despise teething. Its really a cruel joke.

We've been enjoying our long weekend so far. The pump has been great. Ollie STTN 2 days in a row, until these damn teeth started coming in. Now he's waking up a couple times but its tolerable. We've had friends over Fri & Sat for a BBQ, which was a lot of fun...then Todd got sick...bummer. He better not pass that sh*t this way. Last thing I need is 3 kids and myself with a stomach virus while he is away for 2 weeks....It really would just be a blast....*major sarcasm*

But once he gets back it should be good times (seriously). Minus Monday when I have to go to the dentist and they stick a needle in my face to fix my sticky spot on my tooth that Ive had for 15 years now. But since I'm getting ---OLDER--- as the dentist put it, I'm at a higher risk for it turning into a cavity or worse, needing a route canal if I go another 4 years before going back to the dentist. So not looking forward to a needle in the face...thank god for the Valium he prescribed me. Then the next day I take Aiden to the dentist...I won't share my traumatic needle to the face story with him! LOL

Then on Friday 18th we are having Oliver's 1st birthday party. My sister & her wifey are coming Monday, my parental units are coming Wed (Ollie's REAL birthday) and we are having another mini party then. I can't believe this monkey is going to be 1 in less then a month! Its been a long year.

Oh man. The joys of having boys... Aiden and Keegan are playing with a fly, that Keegan caught and killed. "Oh no buggie" GROSS...they are smashing it..."I broke the fly" -Thanks Aiden! Ewwww

1st Night on the Pump...

Our first night with the feeding pump was nothing short of an epic fail. At first it seemed like things were going pretty great. Ollie went to bed at 8:00, woke up for a little while at 11:00 but I was able to just pat his back to get him back to sleep. Then comes 1:00am. NIGHTMARE time. It was a total freaking disaster. He was crying, flipping out, wouldn't go back to sleep. I patted his back for an hour, let him cry for 30 minutes...still he wouldn't sleep. I went back into Oliver's room to try patting him again, and I moved him down in his bed, and this kid is soaked. I checked the site where it inserts into the gtube, dry! I looked to make sure it was still connected, yup! The only thing I could think of was he peed out of his diaper even though the diaper wasn't soaked. Things can poke out so maybe thats what happened. I change him, change his bed, Todd is up at this point trying to help me console him. Todd swears Ollie is hungry, but I think it can't be possible because hes been on a continuous feed. NO WAY should he be hungry, but I made him a 2oz bottle anyways. Drinks it like he IS, indeed, starving. Finally he calms down, Todd rocks him for a little bit...put him down wide awake, and he falls back to sleep on his own, no issue. I decided that at 3am, I was done with the pump, we weren't going to hook him up for the rest of the night. The past 2 hours were horrible. We weren't sure if it was the pump bothering him, if the continuous feed is what made him pee SOO much. Everything was SATURATED!

This morning, I'm breaking down the pump, changing the bag and the tubes and I noticed the connector tube is dry...odd...but okay maybe it went dry because we disconnected the feed. Then I'm flushing/cleaning the connector tube and I saw the problem...the stupid medicine cap opened up. So this continuous feed wasn't feeding Oliver, it was feeding his bed. No wonder the bed was soaked! And yes, Todd was right, Ollie was hungry. I don't know when that cap opened up but it had to be around 1:00. Tonight, that medicine cap will be TAPED DOWN.

Ridiculous. Seriously it wasn't too funny in the middle of the night, but now I think its a little funny. But just a little....

Blissful

Yesterday was a pretty good day, an all around good day, minus my stove breaking.

Last night, for the first time, in a long time, Todd and I laid in bed and laughed at the funny, cute, crazy stuff our kids did that day.

Aiden was just positively cute yesterday. He was such a ham and in a great mood. He was trying to figure out where Todd got his watch from and Todd told him to guess but he would give him a hint. The hint was "This person also gives you nice things". Aiden's responses was "Strangers?" and then "Logan's family?" REALLY AIDEN!!! What about your mother, me, your mom? I give you nice things all the time....and he said "Oh yeah, like that time you gave me a lollipop with chocolate inside it?" Thanks Aiden. But it really was hysterical.

Keegan....man, Keegan is just talking up a storm. I love the way the talks, and I absolutely love hearing what is going on in his brain. He is way smarter then I've ever given him credit for. He's not only identifying objects around the house, he is naming shapes, colors, and we even have 2 word sentences coming from him. Its so wonderful to hear him talk and know that he can hear us. My favorite though is when he says Thank You. He first learned to say "Thanks Aiden" so now even if he wants to thank me he will say "Thanks Aid--, Thanks Mommy" Cracks me up.

Oliver was a normal baby yesterday. We played with him, we laughed with him, and just enjoyed him. I can honestly say (even if it sounds mean, sad, whatever) aside from when he was a newborn in the NICU, this was the FIRST time I've ever really enjoyed him all day...before we would have 5 or 10 minutes of normalcy but it was so great yesterday. SO so SO so SO great! He is developing quite a personality and we are starting to see he has a sense of humor. He loves to play peekaboo and pat-a-cake. He is very strong willed and knows what he does and doesn't want. Although he doesn't have any words, he is starting to make some sounds now too.

As we laid in bed last night, laughing and talking about the day, I felt like we were heading back towards a sense of normalcy and I felt happy, truly happy. No matter what attitudes, disabilities and special needs these kids have, they are awesome and we can have a normal life with them. Even if our normal is different from everyone else's normal, its normal for us.

Post Op

Really at this point, I should know by know to expect the unexpected. I thought this appointment would be like "Okay cool, G-tube looks good, have a great day, see you in 2 months" Boy was I mistaken. Instead this appointment took over 2 hours, with all 3 boys. Can we say "Holy friggen headache!" I've got a tired, cranky Ollie crying. Aiden is running around because the words "stay still" dont exist in his vocabulary. Keegan freaking out, crying, covering his eyes, jamming himself under the exam table, all because the damn resident touched him and said "Hi", just as I was saying "Please don't talk to him or touch him".....AHHHHHH. My kid hates you, he hates people in general, please don't touch him or even attempt to talk to him....thanks!

So back to the longest damn appointment of my life. The age old question "How's his feeds going?" This always makes me laugh because Oliver SUCKS at eating, he always has. Standard response, we get in about 2oz before he gets too tired and then we finish him off with the G-Tube. Well too bad for us, Oliver has lost 2 lbs in 3 weeks. So now he has to go on a continuous pump feed, 8pm-5am....if this means I don't have to get up 3 times a night to feed him, FABULOUS! We can only give him a bottle 4x a day now, but we are also able to incorporate baby food into his schedule, so his feeding schedule resembles something like a "normal baby". So in the end not so bad news, not fabulous, but not bad.

And I swear to goodness if I hear the phrase "This is very common for kids with cerebral palsy" one more time, I am going to scream. Oliver hasn't ever been officially diagnosed with cerebral palsy but they are all throwing around that damn phrase....so give him the diagnosis already OR stop using that phrase...thank you very much!

Our New Schedule:

5:00am- Pump Off

8:00am- 4oz bottle/gtube

8:45am- baby food

9:30am- nap time

11:00am- 4oz bottle/gtube

12:30pm- baby food w/ rice cereal

2:30pm- 4oz bottle/gtube

3:00pm nap time

4:30pm- baby food

5:30/6:00pm- 4oz bottle/gtube

8:00pm- pump on

And I also must try to work all this in around therapy times....and this schedule needs to be kept pretty strict, so it should be interesting.

Reflecting how things could have been, it was worth it in the end

I seriously am horrible at this whole blog thing. I really love the idea of it all, but its been over a year since I last posted to my blog! Sheesh! So this time, I will try again...and really try!

Since I last posted our lives have been turned upside down and inside out. Its a crazy, hectic life, but at the end of the day I wouldn't trade it for anything...as much as I think I can't make it, I won't make it, I do. Just taking it all one day, even one hour at a time. I just never thought this is where my life would lead me, but then again, whose life turns out exactly as they thought it would. Overall, I'm happy, I'm healthy and I'm beyond blessed. My children are happy, not so healthy but Oh So Blessed....they are here. Plain and simple. Life is a blessing, the greatest blessing anyone could ever ask for.

A little insider info: Before I went to college, I was torn between two degrees. Early Childhood Special Ed and Pediatric Nursing. I choose Early Childhood Special Education. I never thought in a million years I would be using my degree to help with my own special needs children. I thought I would be helping OTHER children...not mine. And as far as the Pediatric Nursing, well lets face it, I pretty much already qualify for a degree without ever going to school for it. I've spent way, and I mean WAY too much time at doctor's offices and in hospitals over the last 2 1/2 years. At the end of the day, it really wouldn't have mattered what degree I choose because I've been thrown head first into both areas....its a good thing I know how to swim, because it sure is all overwhelming at times.

All we can do is soak it all in and make the most of it....